There is nothing quite like the lurking feeling that you're working towards the wrong goals. For some of us, the feeling can become so strong that we construct a fantasy life, in which we did things... differently. But what really stops us from achieving this fantasy life? Could it be an obsession with maintaining status within our current communities creating the fear of embarking on new journeys? Life has a way of telling you exactly what you need to be doing. It's not as complicated as we would like to think. Typically the things that bring us a feeling of purpose are exactly what we should be doing. But, what if I disappoint my friends and family, you might ask? It doesnt help that everyone has grown comfortable with the predictability of your life. Matter of fact, they are typically using your patterns to validate their own patterns. This is precisely why changing anything about ourselves; our image, our career, romantic partner, etc. causes the people around us to have a fearful response. Whether they take distance from you or simply begin to treat you differently, it's common to feel rejected from your family and friends.
Humans are tribal animals. We register rejection from our family and friends as life threatening, as a consequence of our tribal behavior being an evolutionary trait to enhance survival. This primal response to 'fit in' keeps us safely in our tribe. There are even physiological responses to rejection. Have you ever been speaking in front of people and your chest gets tight? Nervousness is a fear response developed to avoid rejection and exclusion. As a result, it is quite easy to avoid changing when you discover you belong elsewhere. The possible rejection from loved ones can be too much to bare. As I meander through my 20's, I am finding there is a big difference between those willing to endure the rejection of society and those that are not. People willing to challenge the status quo to fulfill their purpose, tend to have a healthy self esteem (meaning they preform less acts of jealousy and envy). They also tend to go down in history for the changes they were able to bring to humanity.
It has taken me years to realize how many things I have been doing to fit in. Or better yet, how many things I have not been doing to fit in. I often avoid parts of myself to make my family and friends proud of me. But what if we are storing so much more. Just think to yourself what you truly want to do. Then think about how embarrassing it might be to say it out loud to someone.
If you can figure out how to remove emphasis from how your parents, peers, and strangers see you, only then can you explore who you are. Once you break free of being who everyone wants you to be, then you can actually be who you have to be, who you were destined to be.
For those of you who have read the Alchemist, Paulo believes the older you become the more you loose touch with your destiny. This a result of becoming more comfortable doing what is expected of you and less of what challenges societal norms. It is an exercise to expose your vulnerabilities and subject yourself to possible rejection. It requires practice and maintenance. In other words, if you don't use it, you lose it.
So don't wait.
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